Covid 19; A Tragedy And An Opportunity

“Everything is here to help us”. These words, passed down from a teacher and guru of mine, Matt Kahn, have proven their truth in my life time and time again. In graduate school I another teacher and therapy guru, Irvin Yallom, said something similar. “In therapy, everything is grist for the mill”. I have come across this sentiment often on my own spiritual path. Obstacles present with themselves opportunities. This has been said by masters for eons. I have happily witnessed many clients boldly turn and face the various challenges in their external and internal worlds and use the energy of the disruption for growth and change. 

That the world is experiencing great disruption and turmoil right now might be the understatement of the year. Things were moving very rapidly even before Covid 19 shut down our schools, restaurants, movements, and economies. A great pause has been placed upon humanity. A grand opportunity for reset. If you look past the frightening headlines and breathless coverage, you may start to notice new ideas emerging. A questioning our separation and survival based living. This is not to say that there are not great challenges, and tragedies, and suffering as me move into what I have heard to referred as “the corona cocoon”.  

I believe that our collective external world is a mirror to our collective inner spaces, just as my own personal external world reflects my own individual inner life. Where I experience turmoil and challenge in my personal life will invariably points me towards aspects of myself that are crying out for my attention and love. Our world is crying out for our attention and love. During this great reset, a good question to ask is, where am I holding my attention? In the noise and drama and problems? What opportunities are presenting themselves that I may be missing? What shadow aspects of myself that I have been ignoring are surfacing to be loved and released?

My challenge for myself is to use this opportunity, and the energy created from it, to take a giant leap forward in living my life from well-being and balance. Can I have the courage to look where my anxiety and fears are? When I am worrying about paying my mortgage, can I use this indicator to direct my gaze towards where in myself I am holding “lack” and “not enough”. Can I hone my discernment, in ease, and take the necessary precautions to protect myself and my family without going into fear? When my kids have been home for days on end and the chaos and screaming are making our daily lives into a marathon that starts at 5:00 am, can I use this challenge as a chance to stretch my ability to be patient and nurturing?  

The filters through which we view our reality inform and direct our attention and the experiences in our lives. It has been said, “where attention goes, energy flows”. A unique opportunity unlike anything we have seen before sits before, offering us the time and space to toss out filters and beliefs that no longer serve us. As another teacher of mine, Jim Self, has said countless times, “How do you choose”?

Feel free to reach out to me if you are interested in exploring how you can choose to use this opportunity to take a leap forward in your own growth and development. 

Midlife Survival Guide: Is It an Existential Crisis or Just a Transition?

When you think about a midlife crisis, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? For many, it might be the old stereotype of buying a vintage convertible or getting plastic surgery to look younger. 

There comes a point in your life—in your late 40s or 50s—where you might start to really think about your life and your mortality. Such an existential crisis will have you questioning your purpose or wondering if your life means anything. 

So, are you dealing with such a crisis? Or are you just going through a normal transition at this phase in your life? 

Let’s go over a few “survival” tips you can use to get through this transition period of your life. When you choose to embrace the transition and work through it, it just might feel like less of a crisis. 

Don’t Think The Worst About Your Health

One of the best things you can do as you start to get older is to be grateful for every breath you take. If you feel good and you don’t have any serious physical ailments, you’re actually doing really well. 

With that being said, you don’t need to take every little ache, pain, cough, or cold so seriously. Just because you reach a certain age doesn’t mean you’ll start to experience fatal illnesses. If something seems serious, talk to your doctor about it. But stay away from researching all of your “symptoms” online, and take comfort in feeling good on a daily basis. 

Making Elaborate Purchases

We’ve all seen the movies where a man in his 50s goes out and buys a fancy car or a brand new house. If you feel like you’re having an existential crisis, spending all the money in the world isn’t going to boost your sense of self-worth. It certainly isn’t going to tell you what your purpose is. 

Reaching a certain age doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot of money or buy “toys” that make you feel important. It also doesn’t mean you need to change the way you look. 

In fact, these impulsive behaviors can actually be dangerous and lead to other things, like alcohol or drug use. 

It’s Okay to Have Fun

It’s a good idea to go out and have fun sometimes. Spend time with your friends doing things you love. Doing so can help you to feel young and vibrant. For a moment, you might even forget about the whole “midlife crisis” dilemma. You’re never too old to have fun!

Again, reaching a certain age doesn’t mean you need to give up the things you’ve been enjoying for years. Just make sure you’re not changing who you are in the process. The most important people in your life love the person you already are. Spending time with those people can be a great reminder of that. 

Time Will Make It Better

If you do find yourself questioning your worth or your place in the world, you’re not alone. One of the reasons midlife issues are so widely portrayed is because many people do struggle with them. 

If you can stay the course through this transition, it will get better. One thing that can help is therapy. If you’re struggling, talking to a professional can help. Through therapy, you can learn how to navigate the next chapter of your life comfortably and with confidence. 

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Struggling to understand your place and your purpose? You don’t have to go through this new stage alone, and you don’t have to change who you are. Feel free to contact me today to learn more ways to handle a midlife transition. 

3 Tips for dealing with Professional Burnout

Professional Burnout refers to the physical and emotional exhaustion that occurs as a result of chronic, work-related stress. Today, rates of burnout are higher than ever. A recent study of 7,500 full-time employees in the USA indicated 23% reported feeling frequent or constant burnout, while 44% reported feeling burnout sometimes.

It is important to know that “burnout” is not a medical diagnosis, but it is a life condition that can be linked to physical and mental health impairment. Often this experience is also called a midlife crisis or an existential crisis.

Unsurprisingly, the effects of burnout are not left at the office. Burnout affects family life, social relationships, and physical and mental health. If you think you may be suffering from burnout, it is important to take steps to get your life back into balance.

Signs of burnout

• Physical symptoms: 

• Chronic fatigue/exhaustion

• Unexplained headaches

• Gastrointestinal distress

• Increased vulnerability to immune-related illness

• Wondering why you feel so empty and unfulfilled

• Insomnia

• Difficulties concentrating

• Using food, drugs or alcohol to feel better

• Anxiety/depression/irritability 

• Lack of satisfaction in achievements

• Feeling disillusioned with your job

Factors that increase the risk of burnout

One of the biggest factors in burnout is perceived level of control. An early study investigating burnout indicated that the perception of uncontrollability was linked to depression. Unfair treatment at work, unmanageable workload, and unreasonable time pressures are also major factors that contribute to burnout.

What you can do

 The above factors are related to the environment and policies of your workplace. However, there are some things you can control in relation to your risk of burnout. If possible:

1. Do not take your work home — leave it at the office. Make a commitment to think about other things and engage in non-work related activities when you are not at work.

2. Expand your interests — your work should not consume your entire life. Find and pursue hobbies that interest you. Develop friendships, spend time with loved ones. Make an effort to make pleasure a priority in your life.

3. Consider other options — if your job/career is causing burnout and you feel like your work conditions are preventing you from making the changes you need to make, consider either leaving the organization or changing professions. Often other opportunities exist, but we will not find them if we don’t even consider looking.

Therapy can help

Therapeutic sessions for professionals experiencing burnout will help relieve stress, and provide an objective view. Some research suggests that people experiencing symptoms of burnout do not believe that their jobs are the main cause of their distress. Often there are other underlying issues causing unhappiness and stress. Therapy will address all the aspects you may be dealing with to help you create a balanced and satisfying life. Existential therapy can also help you discover meaning and purpose in your life.

If you would like to learn more, you are welcome to call and schedule an appointment or fill out our contact form and click send.