The 5 Stages of Grief: Tips for Coping with a Loss

Everyone has heard of grief and has a basic idea of what it is. But not everyone fully understands the stages of grief and how important they are when it comes to fully healing. 

Grief occurs when there is any type of loss in your life. Whether you lost a loved one, a family pet, or even if you’re going through a divorce or separation, you have to be able to get through the loss in an effective and productive way. 

The stages of grief are meant to help you get through your loss from start to finish. You’ll never completely “forget” the loss you experienced, and that’s not the point. The point is being able to move on from that loss and continue on with your life.

So, what are the stages of grief? And how can you cope if you’ve experienced a loss?

1. Denial

Denial is often the first stage of grief and probably seems pretty self-explanatory. Many types of losses can come as a shock—a sudden separation, the death of a family member or beloved pet, etc.

These losses can make the whole world feel overwhelming and almost surreal. You might not want to believe the person/pet you cared so much about is truly gone. 

Denial isn’t a terrible thing. It’s your mind and body’s way of letting you cope by not giving you more to process than you can mentally handle at any given time. But, obviously, it’s important to get past the denial stage and understand that the loss really did occur. 

2. Anger

When you get through your denial, it’s not uncommon to start feeling angry. Don’t try to hide this emotion. Instead, let it out (constructively!), and you can work through it faster. 

Anger can make you feel stronger when you need it most. Maybe you’re angry with yourself or the person who died or left you. You might even be angry with God or a higher power. Give yourself the time you need to feel angry and express it in healthy, productive ways.

3. Bargaining

Bargaining isn’t a stage of grief everyone is familiar with. The truth is, bargaining and guilt tend to go hand in hand. You might start asking yourself a lot of “what if” questions. You might start to think of things you could have done differently to keep someone from dying or a loved one from leaving you. 

Unfortunately, bargaining keeps you in the past. It forces you to try to negotiate your own feelings—even the pain you’re going through. 

As you go through this grieving stage, wishing you could do anything to reverse the loss you experienced, it might feel like a step back. But it’s important to remember that these stages don’t have a specific timeline. What you must do is keep going forward and working through them. And, eventually, you get back to the present. 

4. Depression

When you do come back to the present and you’ve stopped bargaining, you’ll probably realize that there’s nothing you can do to “fix” the loss. You can’t bring someone back. The reality of the situation might start to hit you heavier than it has already.

As a result, it’s not uncommon to feel depressed and hopeless. 

As heavy and hard as depression might feel in the moment, it’s a normal (and necessary) stage in the grieving process. Obviously, any kind of loss is depressing. Allowing yourself to feel that and to experience it means you’re not trying to keep your emotions and feelings at bay. When you process them and allow them to come up freely, you’ll be able to heal faster. 

5. Acceptance

Typically, the final stage of grief is acceptance. But acceptance doesn’t mean you’re automatically okay with everything that’s happened. You don’t forget about your loss or your loved one. Acceptance simply means that you acknowledge and accept the reality that the loss happened. That the person/pet is not coming back.

Do you feel great about it? No. But coming to this realization and knowing you can’t do anything to fix it can help you to let go of lingering feelings of anger and depression. 

Reaching this stage can help you to grow. Because you’ve been through this experience, you can reach out to new people, reconnect with old friends, and start to move on with your life again.

4 Keys to Help You Overcome Loneliness After the Loss of Your Spouse

Losing a spouse is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. Whether they passed recently or quite some time ago, dealing with the pain of loss can leave a lasting scar on your emotions.

Grief is normal when you lose a spouse, but the loneliness that comes with it can be crippling.

It might feel as though you’ll never get past your loss. But that doesn’t have to be the case. While you may continue to feel sadness when you think about that loss, you can still move through it and find peace and happiness once again.

With that in mind, let’s look at four key ways you can start to overcome the loneliness caused by the loss of your spouse.

1. Be Proactive About Change

If you feel yourself sinking into deep grief, it’s ultimately up to you to be proactive about changing. Commit yourself to make positive changes in your life. There should be an underlying willingness to move on. It doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow. But you have to commit yourself to eventually getting through this.

When you have that commitment set in your heart and mind, it will fuel everything else you do to combat loneliness.

2. Find Hobbies You Enjoy

One of the most effective ways to deal with loneliness is to fill your time with other things. Take up hobbies again you used to enjoy. Or find something new to take up your time. There are activities available for people of all ages and with all different types of interests.

It’s a good idea to choose activities that will allow you to connect with other people, rather than solitary ones. Meeting new people and eventually opening up to them can be therapeutic.

3. Volunteer

If you want to occupy your time in a positive way and feel better while doing it, volunteer. Spreading joy and doing something good for others is a great way to combat grief and loneliness.

Helping someone else can really put things in perspective when it comes to your own personal struggles. Choose an organization or group you’re passionate about. It could be a local homeless shelter or an animal shelter, etc. This is another great way to meet new people and feel better about yourself.

4. Find Support

Surrounding yourself with a support system after your spouse has died is one of the most important aspects of getting through grief and loneliness.

The good news? A support system doesn’t just have to be family and/or friends. While they can be a big help, don’t be afraid to look for an extended support system too. There are many different groups for people dealing with loneliness and grief that meet regularly. Sharing your story with others who have gone through something similar can start to provide healing.

Some people even find it beneficial to start dating after a certain period of time. This varies from person to person, of course. Don’t feel as though you have to jump back into the dating world to find some kind of fulfillment. That's not the point. But, for some, it helps to have a companion to share things with.

Grief therapy can also make a big difference if you feel like you’re lacking support and you don’t know where else to turn. Therapy can help you when going through different stages of grief, and it can provide you with the resources needed to cope with your loss.

Moreover, you may even be feeling guilty about losing your spouse and having to “survive” without them. If that’s the case, grief counseling can help you to process those thoughts and feelings as well.

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If you’re struggling with the loss of your spouse, don’t feel as though you have to deal with loneliness forever. Feel free to contact us if you’re interested in learning more about grief counseling and how it can help you through this difficult time.