“Have I Ruined My Life?” – How Postpartum Depression Affects the Mother/Child Relationship

Postpartum depression (PPD) isn’t uncommon. In fact, up to 10% of mothers experience some form of it. Despite that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, many new moms still struggle with guilt and shame. 

Simply put, postpartum depression is an overwhelming feeling of sadness after your baby is born. In every sense of the word, it’s a depressive state. But unlike traditional forms of depression, it does typically go away on its own with time. 

However, there isn’t a set timeline from mother to mother. Everyone is different. And while you’re struggling with PPD, you might feel completely overwhelmed by motherhood or like you’re not connecting with your baby.

You may even wonder if you ruined your life.

That’s why it’s so important to understand, how does postpartum depression really impact your relationship with your child? What can you do about it? 

Early Development and Relationships

The mother/child relationship is especially important within the first three months of a baby’s life. But, if you feel like you’re not connecting with your newborn, those feelings of shame and guilt you already feel due to PPD can become even stronger. 

There is a slight risk that you’ll decrease the chances of maternal bonding with your baby if you’re staying more distant from them during the first few months of their life. Babies need physical touch, care, and warmth. They count on you for all of it. So, if you have someone else like a spouse or partner stepping up to do most of the caregiving, the child will likely bond with them. 

That isn’t meant to scare you or make you feel guilty. Young children simply need to bond with their natural caregivers. But, if you’re not healthy enough to take care of your new baby, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s important to focus on your health so you can get better, and then give your baby the care they deserve. 

Understanding Postpartum Depression

If you just had a baby and you have thoughts that you may have ruined your life, you could certainly be struggling with PPD. New motherhood can be overwhelming for many mothers, which can lead them to struggle with both feelings of guilt and depression. 

Some common symptoms of PPD include: 

• Crying

• Irritability

• Anger

• Fear

• Unwanted thoughts

• Fatigue

• Changes in weight

Postpartum depression is more than just the “baby blues.” It can be a crippling disorder that lasts for months if untreated. 

The good news? It can be treated, and you can find the help you need to get through it quickly. 

Treating PPD

The first thing you need to understand about PPD is that it isn’t your fault. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother or that you love your baby any less.

Seeking out treatment for postpartum depression can help you to get over it faster so you can create a better bond with your child and build a lasting, nurturing relationship. 

There are different ways of treating postpartum depression. Some women benefit from getting on antidepressants for a while. This can be especially helpful if you’re prone to depression or experienced it even before your child was born. 

In many cases, though, counseling or therapy is the best approach to managing and treating PPD. A therapist can help you to get to the underlying cause of your depression and help you to work through your feelings so you can manage your symptoms. 

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If you’re struggling with postpartum depression and you’re worried about how it might impact your relationship with your child, feel free to contact us. There isn’t any shame in PPD, but there’s also no shame in getting the help you need.

The birth of a child is a joyful, unique time of life. You should be able to enjoy it and to bond with your baby the way you would like to.

"Shouldn’t I Be Able to Cope with Postpartum Depression on My Own?" – 3 Reasons Therapy Is Vital

Whether you just gave birth or your baby is a few months old, you’re not alone if you’re experiencing postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression (PPD) actually affects about 50% of new mothers. It can come with symptoms like anger, anxiety, fatigue, or even a feeling of hopelessness.

While PPD can go away eventually, you shouldn’t have to deal with it on your own. If you do, and you don’t find effective ways to cope, it can last much longer and have a greater impact on your life. It may also cause you to interact less with your new baby, and that can affect your child.

Therapy isn't just a great way to get through this uneasy, confusing time—it's vital!

Why?

If you’re struggling with postpartum depression and have been putting off the idea of therapy, take these reasons into consideration why treatment is so important.

1. Therapy Can Help You See That You’re Not Alone

Many women struggle with feeling totally alone and/or isolated when they’re dealing with PPD. A therapist is there to help you see that you’re certainly not alone and that you have nothing to feel ashamed of.

A therapist can also encourage you to develop a network of support. This could include family members, friends, or other mothers who may have gone through the same thing in the past.

Thanks to advancements in technology, even if the important people in your life live far away, you can connect with them on a regular basis for support. Whether you simply need to vent to someone or you need solid advice, knowing that you have people there to back you up can make a huge difference in how you feel.

2. Therapy Can Help You Alleviate Your Guilt

Having postpartum depression doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother. Unfortunately, though, the guilt associated with PPD is often what keeps mothers from seeking out help.

Between your hormones jumping around all over the place, the new responsibilities of motherhood, and a sleep schedule you’re not used to, it’s completely okay to feel overwhelmed!

Talking to a therapist can help you to cope with any feelings of guilt. It can make you realize that you’re not a bad mother. That what you're dealing with is not abnormal. And that dealing with PPD is not a reflection on your worth as a person.

In seeking out professional help, you’re not only doing what’s best for you. You’re doing what’s best for your child, too, so you can be the best mother you can possibly be.

3. Therapy Can Help You to Change Your Behaviors

An important area which therapy for postpartum depression addresses is identifying your behaviors and finding different, positive ways to change them.

One of the best ways to do that is to give yourself permission to take care of yourself. As a new mother, it feels natural to try to put all of your focus on your baby. But when you neglect taking care of yourself, you’re not going to be able to give your child the best care possible.

A therapist can help you to create a plan to get more rest, exercise, eat healthier, and find things that make you feel more like you again. That can be overwhelming to do on your own. But getting help from an experienced professional can take away some of that pressure and stress.

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Don’t feel bad about struggling with PPD. The sooner you realize you’re not alone in your struggle, the easier it will be to accept some kind of help.

If you’re dealing with the symptoms of postpartum depression and you’ve been trying to cope with it on your own, it’s time to give therapy a try. You have too much to deal with on your own already. Not addressing your condition will only make things harder.

I’m here to help you get through this struggle and will work with you every step of the way. Don’t feel as though you have to go through this alone for another minute! Please, contact me with any questions you may have or to set up an appointment.